just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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