how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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