so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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