Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
