Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize