it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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