he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
