There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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