1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize