broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
