Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
