I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
