I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
someone owes me an orgasm
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize