it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
The air taste purple.
Randomize