The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
operation have a gay friend backfired
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
