so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
