i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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