You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
