why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it was like eating out sand paper
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she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
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Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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