dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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