I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm getting married
To pizza
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
