you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
