Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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