i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
