I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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