We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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