gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
