Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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