why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
