But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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