He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
