STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
