I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
