I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I could fuck to npr.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize