I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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