Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
