Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my shit smells like andre
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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