Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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