That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
