So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
