i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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