You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The air taste purple.
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