he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
