today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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