Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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