..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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