So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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