so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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