Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize