hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
