I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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