I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize