thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
