also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
