I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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