My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry