Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
