I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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