I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize